Barack Obama and the Civil War - The Beavers MUST win

OK, for those of you not from Oregon and who may have stumbled on this post randomly, we are talking about the annual football game against Oregon State University and the University of Zero Oregon for the right to live in the state of Oregon.  Don't get your panties in a wad over this post, please.

It strikes me that Duck fan has a real conflict with the upcoming Civil War game.  I don't think it is much of a stretch to state that the overwhelming number of Duck fans are followers of Obama and subscribe to Obama's economic philosophy of "spreading the wwealth".  In terms of the PAC-10, and the Civil War, application of Obama's "spreading the wealth" economic policies means that Oregon State University must win the Civil War, and here is why.

Right now, every team in the PAC-10 is guaranteed to get $450,000 as a share of the payout for one PAC-10 team participating in a BCS Bowl game.  Because the PAC-10 is a BCS conference, the PAC-10 is guaranteed to have at least one team in a BCS game, which means that each team (even the crappy ones like Washington and Washington State), will get $450,000.

If the PAC-10 were to send twoteams to BCS bowl games, the amount of money each team in the PAC-10 would receive would be doubled - or $900,000.

It is a foregone conclusion that the Trojans of SUC will be in a BCS bowl game.  But, if the Beavers beat the Ducks in the Civil War this weekend, then the PAC-10 will send TWOteams to the BCS, which means more money for all of the schools in the conference.

Also consider that the Ducks' bowl position is pretty well set between either the Holiday Bowl or the Vegas Bowl.  The Ducks will get paid for going to either of those bowls.  Plus, don't forget the Ducks have plenty of money from their "Uncle Phil" (Phil Knight, that is).  The bottom line is, the Ducks have plenty of money, they can afford to spread the wealth.

It would be very George Bush/Dick Cheney/Karl Rove/Halliburton of the Ducks to try and win the Civil War this weekend.  How dare they deprive the other PAC-10 schools of the extra money that comes along with having another team in the BCS!  The Obama economic policy - which Duck fans faithfully adhere to - demands that the Ducks lose the Civil War in order to spread the wealth.  Obama the Messiah demands nothing less!

So for you Duck fans who also supported NoBama, I trust that you are not being hypocritical, and you are rooting for Oregon State to win the Civil War in order to "spread the wealth".  That is the way Obama would want it to be.

Comments

[Other Mike]

Not all of us Duck fans are fans of the Marxist. And OSU has a disturbingly large population of dirty hippies, just like Oregon. The politics of both schools are more similar than people like to admit.

Even if Oregon wins, Pac-10 schools won't have to worry about money. BO can just raise everyones taxes to make up the difference.

[jOe]

you can't spell LOSER without OS

dude, you are a dork.

[jOe]

or maybe another bailout for every school who didn't make a BCS bowl?

[KRDuck]

Duck fans don't need the money. We have Phil.

Here come the Men in Black! Wallop the Water Mice!

[Michael H.]

I'm not sure why you feel like insulting other Americans, not to mention fellow Oregonians, is good policy on your part. Clearly displaying your ignorance, both in a football sense and in the sense of basic humanity, just lets the rest of us know how seriously to take anything you write.

[Jack]

Each Pac-10 team get an even share of just over $14M for one team in the BCS (after expenses of the team are removed). This will be something around $1M per team. Additional teams in a BCS game adds $4.5M to the conference ($450,000/team). Do the math and you can see that each team stands to receive about $1.5M for having 2 BCS teams.

[Ross the Prof]

Even better. The point is that if you truly believe in "spreading the wealth", then the U of Zero should lose this game, in order that EVERY PAC-10 team gets a reward (even if they stink like the Fuskies or the Bougars). That is exactly the policy that NoBama advocates for. Spread the wealth to everyone, regardless of whether they have earned it. Whether you agree with the policy or not, it is exactly what would happen if the Beavers win on Saturday.

Have a great Turkey Day and GO BEAVERS!!!!!

[Rlanan]

wow, The Uneversity of Zero, great comeback dork

get a life!!!!

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