Barack Obama and the Civil War - The Beavers MUST win
OK, for those of you not from Oregon and who may have stumbled on this post randomly, we are talking about the annual football game against Oregon State University and the University of Zero Oregon for the right to live in the state of Oregon. Don't get your panties in a wad over this post, please.
It strikes me that Duck fan has a real conflict with the upcoming Civil War game. I don't think it is much of a stretch to state that the overwhelming number of Duck fans are followers of Obama and subscribe to Obama's economic philosophy of "spreading the wwealth". In terms of the PAC-10, and the Civil War, application of Obama's "spreading the wealth" economic policies means that Oregon State University must win the Civil War, and here is why.
Right now, every team in the PAC-10 is guaranteed to get $450,000 as a share of the payout for one PAC-10 team participating in a BCS Bowl game. Because the PAC-10 is a BCS conference, the PAC-10 is guaranteed to have at least one team in a BCS game, which means that each team (even the crappy ones like Washington and Washington State), will get $450,000.
If the PAC-10 were to send twoteams to BCS bowl games, the amount of money each team in the PAC-10 would receive would be doubled - or $900,000.
It is a foregone conclusion that the Trojans of SUC will be in a BCS bowl game. But, if the Beavers beat the Ducks in the Civil War this weekend, then the PAC-10 will send TWOteams to the BCS, which means more money for all of the schools in the conference.
Also consider that the Ducks' bowl position is pretty well set between either the Holiday Bowl or the Vegas Bowl. The Ducks will get paid for going to either of those bowls. Plus, don't forget the Ducks have plenty of money from their "Uncle Phil" (Phil Knight, that is). The bottom line is, the Ducks have plenty of money, they can afford to spread the wealth.
It would be very George Bush/Dick Cheney/Karl Rove/Halliburton of the Ducks to try and win the Civil War this weekend. How dare they deprive the other PAC-10 schools of the extra money that comes along with having another team in the BCS! The Obama economic policy - which Duck fans faithfully adhere to - demands that the Ducks lose the Civil War in order to spread the wealth. Obama the Messiah demands nothing less!
So for you Duck fans who also supported NoBama, I trust that you are not being hypocritical, and you are rooting for Oregon State to win the Civil War in order to "spread the wealth". That is the way Obama would want it to be.